Developmental trauma is a term used to describe the effects of exposure and experience of stressful events in childhood. These deep, impactful experiences or traumas can manifest into adulthood by way of many symptoms and issues such as: relational issues, feeling safe in our relationships, even if there is evidence to point to them being healthy; negative self image or self esteem, feelings of loneliness, worthlessness or helplessness; symptoms of anxiety or depression, ptsd; emotional dysregulation such as anger, rage, sensitivity; choosing ways to cope that we know is not healthy for us; grief; somatic/body issues; as well as other symptoms that impact our adult lives that we can’t seem to connect a root to.

What if my childhood was OK and I have a good relationship with my family now?

Impactful experiences happen to us not only within our families, but in our relationships with our peers, schools, communities and cultures. Since birth, our nervous systems learn through relationship with others, how to gage for safety in the world we interact with. We’re quick emotional learners and sometimes the meaning we make from these experiences (these learnings are often fast and in our subconscious just as our reflexes are) impact us through symptoms that are not always helpful.

Here is an example: You come in because you’re having some anxiety about setting boundaries and communicating your needs. Growing up, dad would always call you stupid for just being a kid and being silly or loud. So, you may have had to learn really quick not to speak up to avoid being yelled or worse by dad. Now as an adult, you struggle with speaking your feelings and needs to your partner. Your partner is nothing like dad, but for some reason you have anxiety and may worry your partner will be so unhappy with you. Do you see a possible connection? This is how our emotional learnings tend to happen and we’re not always aware of them!